I've been living with the MonSter otherwise known as MS for a little over 3 years.
Three years of daily shots
Three years of trying to accept that there is something wrong with me, when many times, I feel "normal."
Three years of anger, resentment, frustration and denial.
Three years of going days without remembering there is something wrong with me and then pushing myself a little too hard and being stuck in bed for an entire day.
Three years.
I know the basis of MS. I am in support groups. I am a Team Captain for WalkMS activities. I wear MS clothing to increase awareness. At the same time, I still do not know the limits of what the MonSter will or will not permit me to do. I was living in fear, at first, that I wouldn't be able to continue being a Mom. But, I'm starting to realize I can do most everything, within reason. Sometimes, I just have to be a little pickier as to how many activities I can do in one day or one weekend. Sadly, I still stumble and have to have recovery days because I didn't realize combining two activities would totally wipe me out.
Three years.
I try to raise awareness of MS. But, I don't make every Facebook post about my little MonSter. I don't spend every minute thinking of MS and how it is affecting me each moment of every day. So, guess what, that means I may have days where the MonSter doesn't factor into my daily existence. I'm not trying to keep it a secret, I simply do not feel it is necessary to walk around with "I HAVE MS" tattooed on my forehead. So, I may walk a little weird, have tingly hands, be afraid to carry something, walk into walls, have vision issues . . . but that is part of me. It is, again, not something I need to remind everyone of every two seconds. Don't get upset with me. I am still adjusting. And I will NOT let MS become the focus of my life. If you don't like that concept, please, click on the "next" button at the top of the page and enjoy the next blog that comes up.
Three years.
My gosh! I have a "disability"! I had to mark that on form the other day! I don't think of myself as having a disability in any way! Mind Blown!
Three years.
Yes, I have been turned down for various types of supplemental insurances because of this condition. Queue the anger and bitterness as well as the frustration when I FEEL NORMAL!
Three years.
I am a baby when it comes to fighting the MonSter. I've only been officially diagnosed for three years. I am one of the fortunate ones with MS. Unless I let you know, you don't know there is something wrong with me. I have spent MUCH of the last three years counting my blessings and finding the positives in each of the situations that have presented themselves to me.
