The Dropsies

Just a few months after the official MS diagnosis, I made a lasagna.  The glass 9x13 pan was loaded with noodles, sauce, veggies, cheeses and meat.  I was so hungry for this comfort food, I didn't know how I would be able to wait until it finished baking.

Finishing up the top layer, I opened the pre-heated oven and lifted the heavy pan.

And dropped it.

Lasagna guts splattered all over the kitchen.

I stood there in shock.  The pan had landed right side up, and about half of the lasagna reained in the pan.  But the rest!  Oh my goodness!  The rest decorated the kitchen cupboards, the oven, the dishwasher, stove front and stove top.  A sea of red sauce covered the floor from the sink to the refridgeraor.

Slowly, I picked up the pan and tossed it in the oven.  I wasn't going to waste what still remained!  I wanted that lasagna, gosh darn it!

Shuttng the oven door, I looked at my hands.  WHAT had just happened?  Why had they acted like they were no longer in my control for those few seconds?  I was used to the tingling in m hands, and the weird numbness at th same time.  Still, I had never expeierenced this!  This wonky nothingness.  It was all I could think of to describe the feeling.  The feeling of my hands disappearing and coming back. 

Thankfully, I had a large dog who LOVED people food.  Hans came racing in and looked at the mess and his tail wiggling, he started in on the clean up. 

I grabbed a rag and wiped down the counters, cupboards and appliances.  By the time I finished, My Hansy had the floor clean.  I walked from the kitchen into the living room.  That is when I lost it.  I began sobbing and couldn't seem to stop.  I was SCARED!  I'd joined support groups and was so afraid of what this might mean.  Maybe it was the start of a flair?  Was this something that wold happen all of the the time?  Would I no longer be able to carry anything for fear of dropping things again?

I texted my husband and told him I'd ruined lunch and that we would need to scrub down the kitchen, even though I'd tried to clean it the best I could.

He wrote back and said that it was okay and he would make us dinner when he got home.  He let me know it would all be good.

I cried some more - out of fer and frustration.  Nothing I hate worse than not being able to control something . . . and the MonSter loves being the one in control

The lasagna ended up being a perfect, comforting meal.  The Husband finished the clean up of the lasagna guts and I was able to calm down. 

Fortunately, nothing further came from the incident.  Well, no physical issues anyway.  I do continue to have a fear of holding anything heavier or breakable. 

I still have times when I have the dropsies.  My cell phone - I seriously don't know how it has survived but it has.  I am also glad I drink mainly water as there have been incidents with that as well. 

But, all in all, I will take these little tricks the MonSter throws at me with the Dropsies game as it could be so much worse!