I hadn't been diagnosed a full year when I accepted the challenge of taking over the creation of a local Walk MS Team. Our team "No MS'ing 'Round" was a success! We received a very generous amount of donations from coworkers and family. We also had a large turn out for our team on what was a very chilly Western PA day (snowflakes joined in the day's festivities).
For those who wanted to share in the Team Spirit, I had tshirts made. They were simple grey tshirts with "No MS'ing 'Round" on the front and that year's Walk MS design on the back.
I LOVE these tshirts! Yes, I say tshirts! The printer somehow duplicated the order and even after selling additional tshirts and donating all of the money from them, I still ended up with 10 tshirts in my drawer.
These tshirts are comfy. COMFY. I would live in them if I could. Sadly, my girls are starting to notice clothing choices and I've heard "MOOOOM, you wore that shirt YESTERDAY!"
"No, I wore the one that is in the dirty laundry. This one is clean!" I will reply. But, that argument doesn't satisfy them and I am made to change shirts prior to going out in public. But really, the love of the tshirts and the love of the girls are so close that it's a very hard decision. Heck, there are days the tshirts will win - this Momma can be just as difficult and ornery as her kids.
Beyond the pure comfyness of the shirt, I think it is also a symbol of how I have been able to fight the MonSter. I am taking my MS and letting people know about it. I am starting teams for the Walk MS events. I am building a team - not only to support me on my Walk MS events, but to support me in my everyday life when I get a smidge down or simply want to vent.
When I'm feeling down, the comfort of the shirt is there . . . the feeling of it, but also for the memories. What a great group of friends and family I have that have stuck with me after my MS diagnosis! This group of friends and family keeps me determined that the MonSter is not going to win!
Friday, January 15, 2016
Monday, January 11, 2016
The Dropsies
Just a few months after the official MS diagnosis, I made a lasagna. The glass 9x13 pan was loaded with noodles, sauce, veggies, cheeses and meat. I was so hungry for this comfort food, I didn't know how I would be able to wait until it finished baking.
Finishing up the top layer, I opened the pre-heated oven and lifted the heavy pan.
And dropped it.
Lasagna guts splattered all over the kitchen.
I stood there in shock. The pan had landed right side up, and about half of the lasagna reained in the pan. But the rest! Oh my goodness! The rest decorated the kitchen cupboards, the oven, the dishwasher, stove front and stove top. A sea of red sauce covered the floor from the sink to the refridgeraor.
Slowly, I picked up the pan and tossed it in the oven. I wasn't going to waste what still remained! I wanted that lasagna, gosh darn it!
Shuttng the oven door, I looked at my hands. WHAT had just happened? Why had they acted like they were no longer in my control for those few seconds? I was used to the tingling in m hands, and the weird numbness at th same time. Still, I had never expeierenced this! This wonky nothingness. It was all I could think of to describe the feeling. The feeling of my hands disappearing and coming back.
Thankfully, I had a large dog who LOVED people food. Hans came racing in and looked at the mess and his tail wiggling, he started in on the clean up.
I grabbed a rag and wiped down the counters, cupboards and appliances. By the time I finished, My Hansy had the floor clean. I walked from the kitchen into the living room. That is when I lost it. I began sobbing and couldn't seem to stop. I was SCARED! I'd joined support groups and was so afraid of what this might mean. Maybe it was the start of a flair? Was this something that wold happen all of the the time? Would I no longer be able to carry anything for fear of dropping things again?
I texted my husband and told him I'd ruined lunch and that we would need to scrub down the kitchen, even though I'd tried to clean it the best I could.
He wrote back and said that it was okay and he would make us dinner when he got home. He let me know it would all be good.
I cried some more - out of fer and frustration. Nothing I hate worse than not being able to control something . . . and the MonSter loves being the one in control
The lasagna ended up being a perfect, comforting meal. The Husband finished the clean up of the lasagna guts and I was able to calm down.
Fortunately, nothing further came from the incident. Well, no physical issues anyway. I do continue to have a fear of holding anything heavier or breakable.
I still have times when I have the dropsies. My cell phone - I seriously don't know how it has survived but it has. I am also glad I drink mainly water as there have been incidents with that as well.
But, all in all, I will take these little tricks the MonSter throws at me with the Dropsies game as it could be so much worse!
Finishing up the top layer, I opened the pre-heated oven and lifted the heavy pan.
And dropped it.
Lasagna guts splattered all over the kitchen.
I stood there in shock. The pan had landed right side up, and about half of the lasagna reained in the pan. But the rest! Oh my goodness! The rest decorated the kitchen cupboards, the oven, the dishwasher, stove front and stove top. A sea of red sauce covered the floor from the sink to the refridgeraor.
Slowly, I picked up the pan and tossed it in the oven. I wasn't going to waste what still remained! I wanted that lasagna, gosh darn it!
Shuttng the oven door, I looked at my hands. WHAT had just happened? Why had they acted like they were no longer in my control for those few seconds? I was used to the tingling in m hands, and the weird numbness at th same time. Still, I had never expeierenced this! This wonky nothingness. It was all I could think of to describe the feeling. The feeling of my hands disappearing and coming back.
Thankfully, I had a large dog who LOVED people food. Hans came racing in and looked at the mess and his tail wiggling, he started in on the clean up.
I grabbed a rag and wiped down the counters, cupboards and appliances. By the time I finished, My Hansy had the floor clean. I walked from the kitchen into the living room. That is when I lost it. I began sobbing and couldn't seem to stop. I was SCARED! I'd joined support groups and was so afraid of what this might mean. Maybe it was the start of a flair? Was this something that wold happen all of the the time? Would I no longer be able to carry anything for fear of dropping things again?
I texted my husband and told him I'd ruined lunch and that we would need to scrub down the kitchen, even though I'd tried to clean it the best I could.
He wrote back and said that it was okay and he would make us dinner when he got home. He let me know it would all be good.
I cried some more - out of fer and frustration. Nothing I hate worse than not being able to control something . . . and the MonSter loves being the one in control
The lasagna ended up being a perfect, comforting meal. The Husband finished the clean up of the lasagna guts and I was able to calm down.
Fortunately, nothing further came from the incident. Well, no physical issues anyway. I do continue to have a fear of holding anything heavier or breakable.
I still have times when I have the dropsies. My cell phone - I seriously don't know how it has survived but it has. I am also glad I drink mainly water as there have been incidents with that as well.
But, all in all, I will take these little tricks the MonSter throws at me with the Dropsies game as it could be so much worse!
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