One day, my friend and I were chatting on Facebook. It was just after I had received my official diagnosis of MS. I still didn't know the boundaries nor was I really accepting that I might have to slow down.
Oh heck, I'll admit it - I was in denial. I thought I was still normal and just "tired" because I'd been working too hard (we were on mandatory 10 hours overtime at work and I had two children under age 5).
I was complaining about how I couldn't get in a good work out that am. I had jumped on the treadmill and started my warm up. but, I couldn't find the energy to even really do a warm up.
So, I walked.
Then, I started feeling guilty for walking as I was used to revving up to at least a walk at 4.0. Because of the guilt, I increased the treadmill's speed, but I couldn't do it. At 2.0, I felt like I was running. You know that full out running where you legs no longer feel connected and you start to fear they're going to tie themselves in knots like they do in cartoons? Yah. 2.0. The speed where, if you're not careful, you're actually walking backwards because you're going so slow.
My friend finally stopped my rant with the simple "Well, you have MS."
That, my friends, is when I began to accept the MonSter.
There are days when I can jump on the treadmill and do a brisk walk of 4.0 to warm up. Other days, the MonSter is active and I'm running at 2.0. I've accepted that there is no rhyme nor reason to how my workouts go . . . I've come to use this label for my every day life as well. When I tell my friends it's a 2.0 Kinda Day, they know I'm feeling a little "off" and they seem to have a little more patience with me than on my regular days. Thankfully, I don't have to label too many of my days as being a 2.0 Kinda Day.
So, let's hope we're not always running at 2.0
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