Pictures

I take pictures. 

Lots of pictures. 

Pictures of everything and anything.

I take these pictures so I can remember.

I take these pictures so my girls remember activities they participated in with me, their Mom, should MS rob me of that ability as they grow older.

I take pictures to celebrate and rejoice in each moment I have on this planet, no matter how seemingly mundane!

Again, the MonSter has affected this part of my life. 

I fear there may come a day where the MonSter steals my memories.  I fear there many come a day when the MonSter takes my ability to be an active part of my daughters' lives.

So, to thwart him, I take pictures.

Just my little way of saying "Take that you mean jerk!  MS will NOT win this battle!"

Three Years

I've been living with the MonSter otherwise known as MS for a little over 3 years.

Three years of daily shots

Three years of trying to accept that there is something wrong with me, when many times, I feel "normal."

Three years of anger, resentment, frustration and denial.

Three years of going days without remembering there is something wrong with me and then pushing myself a little too hard and being stuck in bed for an entire day.

Three years.

I know the basis of MS.  I am in support groups.  I am a Team Captain for WalkMS activities.  I wear MS clothing to increase awareness.  At the same time, I still do not know the limits of what the MonSter will or will not permit me to do.  I was living in fear, at first, that I wouldn't be able to continue being a Mom.  But, I'm starting to realize I can do most everything, within reason.  Sometimes, I just have to be a little pickier as to how many activities I can do in one day or one weekend.  Sadly, I still stumble and have to have recovery days because I didn't realize combining two activities would totally wipe me out.

Three years.

I try to raise awareness of MS.  But, I don't make every Facebook post about my little MonSter.  I don't spend every minute thinking of MS and how it is affecting me each moment of every day.  So, guess what, that means I may have days where the MonSter doesn't factor into my daily existence.  I'm not trying to keep it a secret, I simply do not feel it is necessary to walk around with "I HAVE MS" tattooed on my forehead.  So, I may walk a little weird, have tingly hands, be afraid to carry something, walk into walls, have vision issues . .  . but that is part of me.  It is, again, not something I need to remind everyone of every two seconds.  Don't get upset with me.  I am still adjusting.  And I will NOT let MS become the focus of my life.  If you don't like that concept, please, click on the "next" button at the top of the page and enjoy the next blog that comes up.

Three years.

My gosh!  I have a "disability"!  I had to mark that on form the other day!  I don't think of myself as having a disability in any way!  Mind Blown! 

Three years.

Yes, I have been turned down for various types of supplemental insurances because of this condition.  Queue the anger and bitterness as well as the frustration when I FEEL NORMAL!

Three years.

I am a baby when it comes to fighting the MonSter.  I've only been officially diagnosed for three years.  I am one of the fortunate ones with MS.  Unless I let you know, you don't know there is something wrong with me.  I have spent MUCH of the last three years counting my blessings and finding the positives in each of the situations that have presented themselves to me.

Double Your Donation!

Right now through 20 November, your donation to the MS Society will be doubled!

Your donation is also TAX DEDUCTIBLE!

And it will help get us closer to the day we can #endMS!

Please click here to donate through 20 November!

Also, if you haven't, please sign up for the Fitbit Fit For Good Challenge!  MS Society is currently in second place and needs every step you can share!

Have a great weekend!

Reminders

Some days, I believe I have a husband - not for the usual reasons.  No, I have a husband so I have someone to whom I can send reminders by text and FB Messenger.  Yes, I could send these all to myself, but then I would feel like a total dork.

Instead, I send them to my husband.

And he mostly ignores them.

Seriously. 

But - I don't mind.  I really only send these communications so he'll ask me about them "um, what does "circus" "new york" mean?"  he'll say.

"oh, easy, those are two of the dances the girls will be doing.  I needed to remember them for when I signed off on the dance lists."

I get many eye rolls.  But guess what - it works!  and believe me, I NEED MULTIPLE reminders during the day!  Some days, I feel I need a reminder to simply exist!

#FitForGood

If you have a Fitbit or any other type of tracker, please think about signing up for the Fitbit challenge FitForGood going on RIGHT NOW!!!!

Fitbit will give away $1 million, split between three charities!  Yes, 1st, 2nd and 3rd will all receive a nice donation.

BUT - I want MS Society to come in first, so STEP it UP people!  STEP IT UP!

After you sign up, please share like mad all over social media!  Get all of your friends involved.  Heck, tell them it's a public service, you're battling the vast amounts of chocolate we've all consumed as Trick or Treat taxation of the kiddos in our lives!

And, you get 1,000 bonus points daily for sharing on Facebook and Twitter!

Thanks!

#endMS  #FitForGood

Running at 2.0 - Life with MS

One day, my friend and I were chatting on Facebook.  It was just after I had received my official diagnosis of MS.  I still didn't know the boundaries nor was I really accepting that I might have to slow down. 

Oh heck, I'll admit it - I was in denial.  I thought I was still normal and just "tired" because I'd been working too hard (we were on mandatory 10 hours overtime at work and I had two children under age 5).

I was complaining about how I couldn't get in a good work out that am.  I had jumped on the treadmill and started my warm up.  but, I couldn't find the energy to even really do a warm up.

So, I walked.

Then, I started feeling guilty for walking as I was used to revving up to at least a walk at 4.0.  Because of the guilt, I increased the treadmill's speed, but I couldn't do it.  At 2.0, I felt like I was running.  You know that full out running where you legs no longer feel connected and you start to fear they're going to tie themselves in knots like they do in cartoons?  Yah.  2.0.  The speed where, if you're not careful, you're actually walking backwards because you're going so slow.

My friend finally stopped my rant with the simple "Well, you have MS."

That, my friends, is when I began to accept the MonSter.

There are days when I can jump on the treadmill and do a brisk walk of 4.0 to warm up.  Other days, the MonSter is active and I'm running at 2.0.  I've accepted that there is no rhyme nor reason to how my workouts go . . . I've come to use this label for my every day life as well.  When I tell my friends it's a 2.0 Kinda Day, they know I'm feeling a little "off" and they seem to have a little more patience with me than on my regular days.  Thankfully, I don't have to label too many of my days as being a 2.0 Kinda Day.

So, let's hope we're not always running at 2.0